The Library at Mount Char

The Library at Mount Char Scott Hawkins 4/5	Published 2015 First Sentence "Carolyn, blood-drenched and barefoot, walked alone down the two-lane stretch of blacktop that the Americans called Highway 78."
Publisher's Description: Neil Gaiman meets Joe Hill in this astonishingly original, terrifying, and darkly funny contemporary fantasy. Carolyn's not so different from the other human beings around her. She's sure of it. She likes guacamole and cigarettes and steak. She knows how to use a phone. She even remembers what clothes are for. After all, she was a normal American herself, once. That was a long time ago, of course—before the time she calls “adoption day,” when she and a dozen other children found themselves being raised by a man they learned to call Father. Father could do strange things. He could call light from darkness. Sometimes he raised the dead. And when he was disobeyed, the consequences were terrible. In the years since Father took her in, Carolyn hasn't gotten out much. Instead, she and her adopted siblings have been raised according to Father's ancient Pelapi customs. They've studied the books in his library and learned some of the secrets behind his equally ancient power. Sometimes, they've wondered if their cruel tutor might secretly be God. Now, Father is missing. And if God truly is dead, the only thing that matters is who will inherit his library—and with it, power over all of creation. As Carolyn gathers the tools she needs for the battle to come, fierce competitors for this prize align against her. But Carolyn can win. She's sure of it. What she doesn't realize is that her victory may come at an unacceptable price—because in becoming a God, she's forgotten a great deal about being human.
Dear Reader, Let me start off by saying how STRANGE this book is. It reminded me a little of how confused (in a good way) I was when reading "John Dies at the End" by David Wong. I liked this one ten times better, though. Scott Hawkins is now in my pocket, categorized under "must read horror - on release date". Hopefully, this guy is planning on doing more. Recently, I have been pleasantly surprised by two upcoming Authors in the horror genre, this one and Josh Malerman who wrote "Bird Box". Anyways, back to this book. I finished this almost a month ago, so this is going to be difficult to review, but I'll try. What did I love so much about this book? Not only is it UBER strange but freakin hilarious. I can't even count how many times this book had me chuckling, most of it very random. The characters in this book grew up away from society, under extremely odd circumstances. Each child was "selected" to become a librarian (very loose term - not the type we think of), where they learn a specific topic and ONLY that topic. They aren't allowed to talk about their topic extensively to the others. The leader is a pretty messed up dude who doesn't treat them like children but more like minions. This is all very hard to explain. The point I'm getting at is this... because they don't know much about the world outside of the "library", they look at things from a humorous perspective. For example... "In the corner was a box called a "television" or "teevee" that could show moving pictures, but you couldn't step inside it or touch things." I loved getting to know these characters, even though they were unlikable gremlins. I love books that show things from that perspective... the evil one. As much as I hated the main character, I loved her too. I think the comedic relief helped with that. But before you think the only thing the book offers is humor... you would be VERY mistaken. I would not recommend this one to Arianna (squeamish), the blood and gut scenes even made me a little queasy. I felt terrified of certain characters in the book, reminiscent of "Hellraiser". If you love that kind of stuff, I would highly recommend checking this one out (with an open mind). This was a unique style of the horror genre and I'm glad to have come across it. Happy Reading, AmberBug P.S. - I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

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This Is How: Help For The Self

This Is How: Help For The Self. Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike. Augusten Burroughs 3/5	First Sentence "Several years ago when the relationship I assumed was both nearly perfect and my last turned out to be neither and ended car-off-cliff style, I experienced an unexpected and profound personal awakening."
Publisher's Description: If you're fat and fail every diet, if you're thin but can't get thin enough, if you lose your job, if your child dies, if you are diagnosed with cancer, if you always end up with exactly the wrong kind of person, if you always end up alone, if you can't get over the past, if your parents are insane and ruining your life, if you really and truly wish you were dead, if you feel like it's your destiny to be a star, if you believe life has a grudge against you, if you don't want to have sex with your spouse and don't know why, if you feel so ashamed, if you're lost in life. If you have ever wondered, How am I supposed to survive this?
Dear Reader, Despite the hilarious and lengthy title of this book, sadly, the humor ends within the first few chapters. What Augusten Burroughs brings to his other books is a dark humor that gives him a unique and interesting voice, this is something I've liked about this Author and something this book is severely lacking in. I'll be the first to admit that I find self help books mostly utter crap and reading one is usually like having to swallow some really nasty cough syrup. I was hoping this would be a satire of one, especially knowing the dark side of Augusten. He only succeeds partially, taking some common self help advice and throwing it under the bus (which made me whoop and laugh along the way). This wasn't consistent throughout the book and which ended up causing the rating to drop to 3 stars (I was also wavering at lowering it even more but couldn't bring myself to give such a low rating to an Author that does bring something to the table). The first few chapters give some humorous stories that had quite the relatable quality to them. The story of the woman in the elevator might have been my favorite. She criticized Augustens bad mood and basically told him to put a smile on his face because "it couldn't be ALL that BAD". This is where I commend the Author because he tells it like it is, yes... it sometimes IS that BAD, and that IS perfectly OKAY. Another part I loved was his criticism of affirmations, something I loathe. He basically tells us by doing this, we're lying to ourselves. Should we really be lying to straight to our face in a mirror!? He also brings up an excellent point about relationships and dating, how we should only be who we are and not try to be someone we want to be (something I didn't learn until late in my own life). If we only show this "best" side of us on a date, this is also a lie. How is anyone capable of keeping this up? Sooner or later all your faults will come out, and if they weren't shown to begin with than how are we to know if that person is accepting of them? Great advice, truly! What I didn't love about the book was mostly everything else. I didn't need advice on suicide, drinking, and the vast other tips he had to offer which left me bored through part of the book. I guess this is something that shouldn't be a big deal because somebody could really benefit from this advice, just not me. This is another reason I didn't want to rate this too low because advice is very specific to that person and someone else might get SO much more out of it. This might not have been my favorite book by Augusten Burroughs but he does give a slightly unique perspective to the genre, and I have to admit that I didn't HATE it... which is an accomplishment. Happy Reading, AmberBug