Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Modern Romance


Modern Romance
Aziz Ansari & Eric Klinenberg
4 / 5


Published 2015

First Sentences
"Oh, shit! Thanks for buying my book. That money is MINE. But I worked really hard on this, and I think you'll enjoy it."
Publisher's Description:
A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices

At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?

Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” 

But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.

For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.

In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

Dear Reader,

It me took forever to read this book! Or rather, it took US forever to read this book: I audiobooked it with Troy, and we started it when it was released back in June. But we tend to audiobook together only when we are taking long drives (and very occasionally, long walks), so we picked it up and put it down so many times! Luckily, it was pretty easy to do that, since this didn't have a continuous storyline - just a bunch of interesting chapters.

So I started listening to the audiobook (which, by the way, is an entirely different experience from the book - Ansari loves to talk to his listeners in asides, especially about how lazy we are for audiobooking!) because I always love to hear authors read their own work wherever possible. But I hit "pause" quickly - I realized that Troy would also love to listen with me, as we were both huge fans of Parks & Rec, and this was a different sort of celebrity book: instead of memoir, it was a study, and I knew that would appeal to us both. So be began to listen together, which then caused a 6 hour book to end up taking us 4 months to finish! Haha.

It might have also taken us so long to read because we were constantly pausing to discuss one point or another! It was a great conversation kindler. Ansari and Klinenberg study people from all ages and walks of life - from an old folks' home in Brooklyn to love hotels in Japan. They explore the world of online dating, of texting (and sexting!), and the huge changes that have taken place both in marriage expectations and in courting rituals in the past hundred years. It was fascinating to consider everything they studied. And Ansari infused the entire thing with his trademark wit, which made even parts that might possibly have come off as dry into humorous episodes!

I think this is a great book for our generation to read: it is important to remember we're all in this very odd, unprecedented moment of coupling together. You're not alone if you've received unsolicited "dick pics" or broken up with someone over texts. It's a strange new world we live in, and one where we are so much more conscious of our choices. Sometimes this can be overwhelming, but it is nice to know we're (mostly) all aiming for love rather than just settling down with some kid from the neighborhood. Or doing it for the donuts.

Yours,
Arianna


Modern Romance

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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Anatomy of a Misfit


Anatomy of a Misfit
Andrea Portes
3.5 / 5

Published 2014

First Sentence
"Pedaling fast fast fast, this is the moment."
Publisher's Description:
Outside, Anika Dragomir is all lip gloss and blond hair—the third most popular girl in school.

Inside, she's a freak. A mix of dark thoughts, diabolical plots, and, if local chatter is to be believed, vampire DNA. After all, her father is from Romania. Everyone else in Nebraska is about as American as an apple pie . . . wrapped in a flag . . . on the Fourth of July.

Spider stew. That's what Anika is made of. But she keeps it under wraps to maintain her social position. One step out of line and Becky Vilhauser, first most popular girl in school, will make her life a living hell.

So when former loner Logan McDonough shows up one September hotter, smarter, and more mysterious than ever, Anika knows she can't get involved. It would be insane to throw away her social safety for a nerd. So what if that nerd is now a black-leather-jacket-wearing dreamboat, and his loner status is clearly the result of his troubled home life?

Who cares if the right girl could help him with all that, maybe even save him from it...?

Logan. Who needs him when Jared Kline, the bad boy every girl dreams of, is asking her on dates?

Who?

Andrea Portes's emotionally devastating debut YA novel lays bare the futility in pretending to be something we're not and the value in finally celebrating all that we are—inside.

Dear Reader,

Whoah. This book took me in so many directions. I was loving it at first, then meh, then I laughed, then I cried...but, ultimately, what I liked most about it was that it was kind of an anthem for high school, one which tries to point out (as many have before) that we shouldn't let the popular kids dictate what we do and who we like. And yet...I don't know how well that lesson is ever really learned IN high school. After? Of course. But, during? These kids are stuck in a forced social environment for 40+ hours each week. Of course they are going to be affected by what their peers think, and how they fit into the social hierarchy. They don't understand how little it will matter later - they haven't gotten to "later" yet. It sucks, but that is real life.

But, I digress. Let me first say why I even picked up this book: it was the Big Library Read offered by Overdrive, which means that while normal Overdrive selections are limited to a certain number of checkouts (and thus you are often relegated to a hold list), this book was available to as many people wanted to read it, anytime - I think the concept was that it would foster a sort of community book club type thing. This lasted for the month of October; of course, I was too slow to get to the book "on time", but I still wanted to check out what all the fuss was about.

I'll admit, I am a sucker for some good high school fiction, be it in book or movie form. Which is funny, because I'm not really into YA in a big way - I just like taking a look at the battleground that was secondary school, especially now that the scars are long healed over & I can view it all with some distance. I guess I find it fascinating, like an anthropology study. That, and I also enjoy me some good pop culture, for sure! So this book was a good cross between Mean Girls and Heathers - and, it did NOT advertise this in the least, but it took place in the '80s! It was so understated; I kept second-guessing myself, but the lack of electronic devices and the cultural references resting solidly in 30+ years ago resolved the issue for me. I liked that (understated) aspect of the book, and Anika's smart and snarky demeanor - she reminded me in many ways of Veronica Mars. She saw through people's facades and really tried to be a good person. But she could really get on your nerves at times, too, with her inner commentary and the way things unfolded. I just guess that despite this being a theme of every single worth-its-salt '80s movie, I still don't buy "the girl who everyone overlooked until some 'totally hot' guy thought she was worth his time" - that's not how life works. Eh. It was still a good book in that while that unlikely scenario DID play out...it wasn't, ultimately, the meat of the story. While this book had an ending that, again, was reminiscent of Mean Girls (much self-reflection in front of the entire student body), it was still well done and brought tears to my eyes for those who don't make it out of high school nearly as unscathed.

One thing I am left wondering about: was the title a reference that I entirely missed? I kept thinking "Anatomy of a Murder", but I highly doubt this book was referencing a Jimmy Stewart movie from the sixties - the only connection being that both involved high school students, if I recall correctly? I keep thinking this must be an allusion to an album title that I not recalling...please, Reader, help me out if you have any ideas! Because otherwise I CANNOT figure out why this book was so titled.

Anyway, hey - the BLR did get me talking, though, didn't it? Which I guess was the entire point. Thanks, Overdrive!

Yours,
Arianna


Anatomy of a Misfit

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