Aquarium

Aquarium David Vann 5/5	Published 2015 First Sentence "It was a fish so ugly it didn't seem to be a fish at all."
Publisher's Description: Twelve-year-old Caitlin lives alone with her mother—a docker at the local container port—in subsidized housing next to an airport in Seattle. Each day, while she waits to be picked up after school, Caitlin visits the local aquarium to study the fish. Gazing at the creatures within the watery depths, Caitlin accesses a shimmering universe beyond her own. When she befriends an old man at the tanks one day, who seems as enamored of the fish as she, Caitlin cracks open a dark family secret and propels her once-blissful relationship with her mother toward a precipice of terrifying consequence.
Dear Reader, I was not expecting this one to be a favorite of mine for the year. I haven't heard of David Vann before but the cover leads me to believe he is someone to know with multiple blurbs of praise. I'll have to go back and check out some of his other work. Aquarium is beautiful and tragic, a combination that always interests me. Even though that might sound like an overused phrase, this book is very unique and I really would have trouble comparing it with anything else. The most unique part about it was the beautiful images of fish, each given at the perfect point in the story with the perfect description. You know how sometimes the pictures used in books match up only "slightly" to the text? This one is a perfect match, Vann selected these pictures and must have sat down and analyzed what he thought a 12 year old girl would say about them. The Aquarium is the backdrop for a story that goes relatively deep into family strife, vulnerability and trust. The daughter has this warm relationship with her mother, very trusting (mainly because she is the only family she has). When her life opens up to the possibility of more, things become strained. The one word that came to mind throughout this book was empathy... and fairness. Caitlin's mother wants her to empathize with her so badly that she pushes her daughter away, in the meantime... she can't seem to do the same for her father. There is a vicious cycle of wants/needs and you just want to shout at everyone to "wake the F up" and smell what the other is cooking. Vann says it best with this one quote, "One life can never know another's." As poetic and beautifully written as this book was, I had a hard time in certain parts of the book (which will be left unspoken), especially when I have dealt with similar situations growing up. I was able to sympathize with Caitlin so much that I ended up hating everyone else. I'm sure most readers will agree that the likability of everyone isn't the point. Don't let that sidetrack you from the real message here... one that you'll discover when you read it. Happy Reading, AmberBug

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A Little Life

A Little Life Hanya Yanagihara 5/5	Published March 10th, 2015 First Sentence "The eleventh apartment had only one closet, but it did have a sliding glass door that opened onto a small balcony, from which he could see a man sitting across the way, outdoors in only a T-shirt and shorts even though it was October, smoking."
Publisher's Description: Brace yourself for the most astonishing, challenging, upsetting, and profoundly moving book in many a season. An epic about love and friendship in the twenty-first century that goes into some of the darkest places fiction has ever traveled and yet somehow improbably breaks through into the light. When four classmates from a small Massachusetts college move to New York to make their way, they're broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition. There is kind, handsome Willem, an aspiring actor; JB, a quick-witted, sometimes cruel Brooklyn-born painter seeking entry to the art world; Malcolm, a frustrated architect at a prominent firm; and withdrawn, brilliant, enigmatic Jude, who serves as their center of gravity. Over the decades, their relationships deepen and darken, tinged by addiction, success, and pride. Yet their greatest challenge, each comes to realize, is Jude himself, by midlife a terrifyingly talented litigator yet an increasingly broken man, his mind and body scarred by an unspeakable childhood, and haunted by what he fears is a degree of trauma that he’ll not only be unable to overcome—but that will define his life forever. In rich and resplendent prose, Yanagihara has fashioned a tragic and transcendent hymn to brotherly love, a masterful depiction of heartbreak, and a dark examination of the tyranny of memory and the limits of human endurance.
Dear Reader, Is it too much to say this book is one of my all time favorites? Ever!? Well too bad! I'm going to stick by this statement. I haven't read a book that made me cry so hard in a LONG time. A Little Life is tragic, emotional, heartbreaking but beautiful, loving and warm at the same time. Right from the start, we are introduced to this close knit group of friends that intertwine in so many ways but all the lines end with Jude. Jude is the private, quiet but sentimental sweet one. He is also looked out for by the group due to a disability. You don't have to try very hard to love Jude, I guarantee you'll be as head over heals with him as I was within the second/third chapter. Not to say that all the other characters don't have as much to give, because they each have a great personality and story to tell. Malcolm; the ambitious architect, JB; the talented addicted artist, Willem; the theater boy turned famous actor, and Jude; the tortured lawyer. The list of amazing characters doesn't even end there though, we have Harold; the kind old man who mentors Jude and Adam; the overcaring doctor that tends to Jude at whatever day or time is needed. When I first read the description of this book, I have to admit I did an eye roll... ayep. I'm so OVER the friendship stories that span a lifetime, yes... they speak to me and I can relate to them BUT enough of them already! Boy, I was in for a treat. I had read Yanagihara's first book, "The People in the Trees" and really enjoyed it and if it wasn't for that, I probably would have missed out on this excellent piece of literature. I would like to kiss Yanagihara's feet for this book (and I HATE feet). Some parts of this book had that brilliance that we got to see in her first book, like when Harold drones on and on about law, but ultimately, this dribble of a speech is fascinating. Who would have thunk!? Yanagihara, thank you so much for coming into my life! I need more books, please! Let me gift you with a few glorious parts I had to save for later: "Fairness is for happy people, for people who have been lucky enough to have lived a life defined more by certainties than by ambiguities." "His persistent nostalgia depressed him, aged him, and yet he couldn't stop feeling that the most glorious years, the years when everything seemed drawn in fluorescents were gone. Everyone had been so much more entertaining then. What had happened?" "Relationships never provide you with everything. They provide you with some things... don't you see it's a trap? If you keep trying to find everything, you'll wind up with nothing." I think what brought me so close to this book and Jude is that I can completely relate to the way he deals with problems (no, not cutting). Those parts that describe memories like hyenas snapping and hungry, clawing at the door, wanting to break free. I know exactly what that is like, and being able to relate to that brought me very close to Jude. In no way is my life even close to being as messed up but I think anyone who knows what suppressing bad memories is like, will be able to relate to this character. Yanagihara can clearly paint a picture of someones life, I can only imagine she knows what suppressing bad memories feels like (there is no way she did it so clearly without that experience). I have SO much more to say but it would go beyond what is acceptable to talk about in a review. I want this book to be a little surprise to everyone... so before you read this, do what I did and roll your eyes and say, "not again!" Trust me, you'll be in for a big surprise! Happy Reading, AmberBug

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Adam

Adam Ariel Schrag 2/5	Published 2014 First Sentence "Adam stared up at the tree leading to Kelsey Winslow's bedroom window."
Publisher's Description: When Adam Freedman -- a skinny, awkward, inexperienced teenager from Piedmont, California -- goes to stay with his older sister Casey in New York City, he is hopeful that his life is about to change. And it sure does. It is the Summer of 2006. Gay marriage and transgender rights are in the air, and Casey has thrust herself into a wild lesbian subculture. Soon Adam is tagging along to underground clubs, where there are hot older women everywhere he turns. It takes some time for him to realize that many in this new crowd assume he is trans -- a boy who was born a girl. Why else would this baby-faced guy always be around? Then Adam meets Gillian, the girl of his dreams -- but she couldn't possibly be interested in him. Unless passing as a trans guy might actually work in his favor... Ariel Schrag's scathingly funny and poignant debut novel puts a fresh spin on questions of love, attraction, self-definition, and what it takes to be at home in your own skin.
Dear Reader, Gah! This book is so frustrating. I'm really mad at it. Maybe that was the point? Adam is a typical teen boy with no real knowledge of the world around him. He travels to NYC to stay with his college-age sister for the summer, during which time he becomes enlightened to the LGBT community. His sister, lesbian dating transgender, brings him to parties and introduces him to a whole new world. The potential to be something great was here, and the Author did a great job (in my opinion as a cis-female) giving a nice overview and facts surrounding what someone transgender has to go through. While the beginning of the book started impressing me, the lies start stacking up... and if there is one thing I hate more than anything is the kind of lies that can destroy someone. Adam stacked his lies SO high that you knew it would crumble before the end. I don't want to give much away but it's hard for me because the majority of my gripes come from that awful ending. I'm going to make this review very brief because of spoilers BUT I will say the message the Author was heading towards was extremely thoughtful and intriguing. However, the ending unraveled everything the Author worked towards in one fell swoop. The audacity to write something so well researched and informative but then wipe all that away with a terribly offensive ending, was heartbreaking. Maybe this is what makes the book controversial but I'd rather have not read it at all. I threw the book at the wall in anguish at how terrible this made me feel, I was angry at everything it represented and I guess that might be why I should have rated it higher, it made me feel something, right? I just can't get past it... For those of you who know the ending, I'd gladly discuss this in the comments (those who don't want spoilers, avoid the comments please). Happy Reading, AmberBug

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In One Person

In One Person John Irving 4/5	Published 2012 First Sentence "I'm going to begin by telling you about Miss Frost."
Publisher's Description: "His most daringly political, sexually transgressive, and moving novel in well over a decade" (Vanity Fair).   Winner of a 2013 Lambda Literary Award   A New York Times bestselling novel of desire, secrecy, and sexual identity, In One Person is a story of unfulfilled love—tormented, funny, and affecting—and an impassioned embrace of our sexual differences. Billy, the bisexual narrator and main character of In One Person, tells the tragicomic story (lasting more than half a century) of his life as a "sexual suspect," a phrase first used by John Irving in 1978 in his landmark novel of "terminal cases," The World According to Garp.
Dear Reader, John Irving has done it again! If you've read Irving before, you know what to expect and this didn't disappoint. Irving brings us a little closer to sexuality with this one, it's a little more "in your face" without hiding it within. He tells the story from the perspective of Billy, a bisexual growing up in Vermont during that time when sexuality was being questioned more than ever. Billy attends an all male school with a step father who teaches the drama class there. His Grandfather is a somewhat closeted cross-dresser (mostly cross-dressing in the Shakespeare plays the school puts on). All around him he has signs that his family is inclined to be somewhat "different" and during this time he starts figuring out his own bisexuality. Apparently, Irving has openly admitted to having crushes on his male schoolmates and this is where the idea of the book came from. I've always wondered what Irving's sexuality was like since he focuses his books on many controversial sexual related topics. He doesn't state outright that he is bisexual, he does live with his wife in one of his three homes of Toronto, Vermont and Pointe au Baril. I love that he writes what he knows and uses his own experiences in his books. He has a creative mind but the realistic characters come out so vividly, they must be modeled from people he has known. Getting back to the story, we follow Billy to New York City during the AIDS epidemic and this section of the book was extremely upsetting and sad. During the 80's, AIDS became so prevalent that sometimes you didn't know someone was LGBT until they started dying from the disease (THIS is when they would or had to come out of the closet). I can't imagine what it would have been like to have all your close friends dropping off like flies from this virus. The main character, Billy, even emotes how awful he feels when people ask if he is sick and he has to reply that he isn't. To feel guilt from not catching the virus, that thought amazed me but when I put myself in his shoes... I started to realize that I would have felt the same way. I think the title of this book is a reflection on how people can have more than "one" person inside of us. How one person can be so many things, why must we narrow it down? Why can't we love people for people and not for what gender they are. Why must we classify ourselves as female or male? Isn't it true that we have characteristics of both, how many times have you heard someone say that they are "Metro" or a "Tom Boy"? This is only a step or two from dressing a different way or trying out a different style. I'm happy we've come this far but this book just made me want to scream at how far we have to go. If you take away anything from this book... take this... Love people or don't love people but don't hate those who love people. Enough said! Happy Reading, AmberBug

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