How to Grow Up: A Memoir

How to Grow Up: A Memoir Michelle Tea 3.5 / 5	Published January 27, 2015 First Sentence "I chose the apartment because of the persimmon tree outside the bedroom window."
Publisher's Description: A gutsy, wise memoir-in-essays from a writer praised as “impossible to put down” (People) As an aspiring young writer in San Francisco, Michelle Tea lived in a scuzzy communal house; she drank, smoked, snorted anything she got her hands on; she toiled for the minimum wage; and she dated men and women, and sometimes both at once. But between hangovers and dead-end jobs, she scrawled in notebooks and organized dive bar poetry readings, working to make her literary dreams real. In How to Grow Up, Tea shares her awkward stumble towards the life of a Bonafide Grown-Up: healthy, responsible, self-aware, stable. She writes about passion, about her fraught relationship with money, about adoring Barney’s while shopping at thrift stores, about breakups and the fertile ground between relationships, about roommates and rent, and about being superstitious (“why not, it imbues this harsh world of ours with a bit of magic.”)  At once heartwarming and darkly comic, How to Grow Upproves that the road less traveled may be a difficult one, but if you embrace life’s uncertainty and dust yourself off after every screw up, slowly but surely you just might make it to adulthood.
Dear Reader, I have long been a fan of Michelle Tea, which is why I picked this book up even though I don't tend to like memoirs. So, Tea's voice in this book balanced out a lot of my disinterest in learning "life lessons" from people. I found it to be, overall, a good read, although certainly nothing life-changing. Tea had a few great pieces of wisdom to impart, particularly (for me) in her chapter on "How to Break Up," advice I really could have used around the time I lived in Boston with a particularly loveless & selfish person. (Although knowing my neediness at that point, I probably would never have heeded it. - Which Michelle Tea also totally understands; she's like a wise & "been there" aunt.) I also really enjoyed "Beware of Sex and Other Rules for Love" (Tea makes herself quite a few ground rules following her "crazy sexual period" where she decides what she really wants in a partner she plans to share her life with). And I had to laugh at the first sentence of the "WWYMD?" chapter: "What would Young Michelle think of today's Michelle? -- Who cares? That Michelle was a jerk.") Tea doesn't take herself too seriously, and has learned to question the beliefs and ideals she once had, which I do appreciate. I also did enjoy how well the author was able to make a memoir - essentially, her collection of essays - flow into a pretty cohesive and overarching life story. However, I have to admit I was a little bored by other parts of the book, those that just didn't engage me. While I could relate to her adoption of the punk rock fashion and "lifestyle" in her teenage years, I wasn't all that interested in the story of when she achieved her lifelong goal of attending Paris Fashion Week, or purchasing a $900 leather jacket. I was interested in her rationalization for experiencing those things, and I understand that growing up with nothing and suddenly having money can make you see the world differently, but I had to say I cringed when she risked her job to do something that felt so...frivolous. Maybe she knows something I don't know, though. Besides, it is her life, her money, and her passion. So what if it isn't mine? That's okay. (And I actually think that is one of the things Tea tries to express in her book.) Tea's frank discussions about how she feels about not having gone to college, her recovery from drugs and alcohol, and her newly-established family life were all quite engaging, and I think the true meat of this book. It was what kept me reading, even through her chapters on affirmations (a 12-step concept), her take on Buddhism (kind of yawn), and her validations for getting Botox (blerg). And despite the wildly varying quality and quantity, each chapter did have something valuable to impart on the reader. Tea was able to learn from her life - both her mistakes and her triumphs - and has come out the stronger on the other side. Which is why I think she felt the need to write this, and why I think many will get something out of this. My three favorite quotes from this book? "...I was haunted by the question, What do you want to be when you grow up? I never wanted to be a nurse, or a truck driver. There was only one job in the whole world that I had ever heard of that sounded good to me: I wanted to be a librarian." ★ Not going to college does not mean you've opted out of educating yourself." [Nor does finishing school, at whatever level; you should always be choosing to learn & improve!] ★ "I try to make choices that will align with my highest beliefs. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't and in between I try not to have a panic attack over it." I'd suggest picking this book up if you need some inspiration, especially if you worry your life has maybe gone in the wrong direction. Michelle Tea's life has gone pretty much every direction possible, and yet by anyone's standards she is pretty darned successful. It reminds us all to reflect on our own lives more impartially, for some true perspective. Yours, Arianna P.S. While poking around online looking for an image from her wedding (beautiful couple), I stumbled across a photo of the jumpsuit she wears on the book jacket! -- http://elisashea.com/post/5781067153/michelle-tea-tap-dancing-on-her-birthday-at-her P.P.S. I am including the list of chapter titles here because I typed them all out as I read them in an effort to remember things, and I figured why not share them if the work has already been done? 1. You Deserve This 2. Fashion Victim 3. My $1,100 Birthday Apartment 4. I Have  Trust Fund from God--and So Do You! 5. Beware of Sex and Other Rules for Love 6. How to Break Up 7. Too Cool for School 8. The Baddest Buddhist 9. Getting Pregnant with Michelle Tea 10. Ask Not for Whom the Wedding Bell Tolls 11. You Can't Fire Me; I Quit 12. WWYMD: What Would Young Michelle Do? 13. Eat Me 14. I'm So Vain 15. Confessions of a Gym Rat P.P.P.S. I received this book as an ARC through the Penguin First-to-Read program.

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The Dinner

The Dinner Herman Koch 3.5 / 5	Published 2009 First Sentence "We were going out to dinner."
Publisher's Description: It's a summer's evening in Amsterdam, and two couples meet at a fashionable restaurant for dinner. Between mouthfuls of food and over the polite scrapings of cutlery, the conversation remains a gentle hum of polite discourse—the banality of work, the triviality of the holidays. But behind the empty words, terrible things need to be said, and with every forced smile and every new course, the knives are being sharpened. Each couple has a fifteen-year-old son. The two boys are united by their accountability for a single horrific act; an act that has triggered a police investigation and shattered the comfortable, insulated worlds of their families. As the dinner reaches its culinary climax, the conversation finally touches on their children. As civility and friendship disintegrate, each couple shows just how far they are prepared to go to protect those they love. Tautly written, incredibly gripping, and told by an unforgettable narrator, The Dinner promises to be the topic of countless dinner party debates. Skewering everything from parenting values to pretentious menus to political convictions, this novel reveals the dark side of genteel society and asks what each of us would do in the face of unimaginable tragedy.
Dear Reader, This was one of those books I went into entirely blind: I had no clue what it was about, really, or where it took place or what its general plot idea was.  I knew (duh) that it focused around some people meeting for dinner, and that was about it.  So I was surprised to see that it was actually about two Dutch couples, the males brothers, and not very good brothers to each other, at that.  At least, you can tell that the storyteller isn't a big fan of his older brother, that's for darn sure.  Serge is a politician through and through, and his little brother hates everything about it: how it's changed Serge; how pretentious he is now about wine, food, and his appearance; how everything he does feels like it is for the vote and for no other reason.  The entire book really focuses on this awful incident that the couples' teenage boys perpetrated.  It examines the story from each parent's angle, as they decide how to proceed past the event in the best possible way.  There are several flashback sections where you see The Incident occur and then see how one father deals with it in relation to his own troubled past and his tense relationship with his older brother.  It is fascinating to watch everything become revealed piece by piece through the eyes of this protagonist.  And it certainly makes the reader wonder what sort of person they'd be if they were in the same situation.  How do you deal with family messes?  It's easy to point at other families' flaws, but so much more difficult to look inward at your own. This book reminded me quite a bit of that odd movie Sexy Evil Genius, which my boyfriend and I watched on Netflix a few months back.  (Which apparently went straight to video, not too surprisingly.)  It, too, took place at a restaurant table, and dealt only with a very small group of people.  The viewer watched while the backstory unfolded, told in bits and pieces over the course of a couple of hours.  Very similar plot devices!  But such extremely different stories.   I think it's a neat setting - examining such a small time and space can still yield such an intricate story. Yours, Arianna

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The Interestings

The Interestings Meg Wolitzer 4/5	First Sentence "On a warm night in early July of that long-evaporated year, the Interestings gathered for the very first time."
Publisher's Description: From bestselling author Meg Wolitzer a dazzling, panoramic novel about what becomes of every talent, and the roles that art, money, and even envy can play in close friendships. The summer that Nixon resigns, six teenagers at a summer camp for the arts become inseparable.  Decades later the bond remains powerful, but so much else has changed.  In The Interestings, Wolitzer follows these characters from the height of youth through middle age, as their talents, fortunes, and degrees of satisfaction diverge. The kind of creativity that is rewarded at age fifteen is not always enough to propel someone through life at age thirty; not everyone can sustain, in adulthood, what seemed so special in adolescence.  Jules Jacobson, an aspiring comic actress, eventually resigns herself to a more practical occupation and lifestyle.  Her friend Jonah, a gifted musician, stops playing the guitar and becomes an engineer.  But Ethan and Ash, Jules's now-married best friends, become shockingly successful--true to their initial artistic dreams, with the wealth and access that allow those dreams to keep expanding.  The friendships endure and even prosper, but also underscore the differences in their fates, in what their talents have become and the shapes their lives have taken.  Wide in scope, ambitious, and populated by complex characters who come together and apart in a changing New York City, The Interestings explores the meaning of talent; the nature of envy; the roles of class, art, money, and power; and how all of it can shift and tilt precipitously over the course of a friendship and a life.  (Published 2013)
Dear Reader, There were parts of this book that I loved, and parts that were very good.  Ultimately, it didn't earn itself status in my Favorite Books Ever category, but I really enjoyed the read.  (Well, actually, the listen - the narrator was great at creating and maintaining distinguishing voices for everyone!)  It's interesting how identifiable I found it, despite that the characters were graduating from high school in the early 70s, not the late 90s. This book recalled to me the sweeping, multi-generational epics of a John Irving novel, complete with the way smaller stories were told in amongst the larger ones.  All of the characters were enjoyable to read about, and it was fascinating to watch as their lives collided, moved apart, and then wove back together, again and again.  I suppose "The Interestings" was an apt title, since the characters' lives were certainly interesting - I didn't want to put the book down, because it was very well-written.  However, naming the entire book after a group that called itself that only once or twice over decades, that was a little odd.  I suppose it really was the one thing that tied them all together - and pretty loosely, at that.  I recall at one point the author having Jules ponder whether they would have all been friends in their adult lives, not having met when they were teenagers.  That's always an interesting thought to ponder, as our friendships progress through years. That reminds me: I have to say, part of what I loved about this story was the nostalgia factor!  I too attended a summer arts camp when I was a teenager, and forged some extremely strong friendships of my own, there.  The memories Jules has of her last days at camp, with everyone upset to be leaving this place that was so theirs - I remember that feeling vividly.  While we'd only spent 5 weeks together, it was an experience that had changed our young lives, and one which we didn't want to end.  So, part of what I loved about this book was the common feelings I could share with Jules, in her long-lasting nostalgia for a place and time which she could not ever truly return to. The characters themselves were quite distinct and strongly written.  Their stories became the reader's stories, and you truly cared about what happened.  Did Goodman truly rape their now-former cohort?  Did his connection with Ash really help Ethan skyrocket to success, while Jules and Dennis struggled to make ends meet?  And Jonah, poor, sad Jonah - what could his life have been without the marring influence of a has-been folk singer? I think this book is a great study in characters and friendships as they grow and change from adolescence through adulthood.  The push and pull of relationships, of envy, of conditional and unconditional love.  I think it will ring true to anyone who has reached adulthood, but feels like maybe they never really did. Yours, Arianna P.S. Reading the Publisher's Description of the book over again reminded me that I kept thinking throughout the book of another book I read this year, called Generation Me. It was a non-fiction work about how children these days are encouraged to pursue their dreams, even if they don't necessarily have the talent or the luck for it.  This seemed to kind of be the case with this group of people; some had "it" and others did not.  And their lives worked out quite differently than they had thought they might when they were young.  Granted, this often happens whether a person is told they are "gifted" or not, but this book strongly reminded me of the arguments Jean M. Twenge makes in her book.